Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Ruminations on "And The Winner Is..." (Grammies, Oscars, Little League Titles, Olympic Medals...etc.) etc.


I didn't watch the "Grammies" Sunday night (and I didn't watch the Golden Globes, neither) because  TV was rotting my brain (so I no longer have one). But I am left with my usual sense of unease following these immensely expensive endeavors at self-promotion. I feel the same way when I see bumper stickers regarding someone's child being an honor student somewhere or a Little League Team (and I was a team mother for many, many teams), a high school football. soccer. volleyball....track team being No. 1 in LEAGUE. (And just how big was that league)
I usually come away from such designations wondering who really remembers, in the larger scheme of life and years down the road, whether Vince Gil or Lady Gaga or The Black Eyesd Peas won a Grammy (besides, doesn't Grammy mean grandmother?) in 1975?
I'm showing a picture of Jones--because he is a No. 1 winner in my book, but I am biased and the pond is relatively small for such a broad designation. I will never show Jones (at 8 months he was more than I could handle; so off he went to get snipped) and I will never need outside verification to know that he is awesome. And more to the point, Jones is happy being a happy dog who loves to go to work and greet everyone--I don't think there are any awards for being a greeter........
The same is true of so many areas where participants are forced into artificial categories of competition. Is it possible to rank competitively the love shown by parents to children??? No. Can you measure quantitatively the joy of discovery between individuals? No--and the minute you would attempt to quantify joy--it would disappear into the "me first" ego race.

I have been blessed to have a child who would never fit the standards of "And the award goes to.."--he has always walked with a different step and fought valiantly for his own path. Through him I have learned compassion, tenacity in the face of many up-hills battles, and most of all, I have had to learn to remain silent (this is still a lesson in progress). Would having a child who consistently came in No. 1 have given me the same invaluable gifts? (And I also have one of those) No. But this creative being who started writing poetry in the ninth grade while getting a D+ in English, still carries the scars of not being able to fit into the role of "No.1" from his first and second grade teachers. What are we teaching our children about who is valuable??  I hope that the love that is represented by St. Valentine becomes the measure of greatness--who wins No. 1 lover?  Can't be measured or judged because love is what exists in our hidden hearts. It is overflowing love for all of creation that will propel our world forward.
Anyway, I'm spending Valentine's Day with and baking brownies and lemon bars for this very special gift of a unique son....and finally it feels good and right.  He will be off--back to living in Thailand, and yes, TEACHING ENGLISH. And writing poetry and music and he will be missed.
Happy Valentine's Day to all Mothers and Fathers!!!
Be well, Mary 

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